covid wrecked my life

i actually mean it

saanvi jarmal
3 min readMay 10, 2022
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

So, 2 years under COVID lockdown. Staying at home 24/7 with no social or physical activity isn’t an ideal surrounding to live in. But we did and for 2 years. Not months, but years.

Now there will be some people who were positively affected by this lockdown. People who were able to make use of this time productively. But then there are probably some some people (like me), who were negatively impacted by the imposure of lockdown.

Now, I was stuck at home, surrounded by endless usage of technology. It was like oxygen wasn’t my life support, internet was. At that moment, everything seemed blissful and sweet but nowadays I realise what a huge blunder that time was of my life.

Before lockdown, I had a fixed routine as to when I would study, go for play, chat with friends and watch tv. But during lockdown, it was like everything was a game of mix-n-match.

I spent two whole years, just by watching TV. Literally nothing else. I didn’t read much, I didn’t join any clubs, and obviously I didn’t perform well in my academics. And that still has an impact on me. I have started recovering from covid attack but it’s a slow process.

Technology, internet, gadgets are huge distractions. Everyone says that. And I experienced it. I don’t want to brag or anything, but pre-lockdown, I was one of the best performers academically in my class and tuition. I had a reasonable numbers of friends and was able to socialise with them. But now when I meet them, it’s like super weird. I can’t even frame a single sentence out! Probably because I never really spoke much for 2 years because I was too busy watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S rather than talking to them.

But the lockdown had a positive effect on my life as well. I got to spend a lot of time alone. I learnt what I liked and disliked. But I sometimes wish that I had focused on my studies more. I struggle through sleepless nights wondering if I had focused even a little, would life be different. I wish I had even tried the slightest bit to change myself. If I had I wouldn’t be regretting right now.

Nowadays, my family members and friends ask me what is happening to you and I literally have no answer. Because all I have filled inside of me is guilt.

I am trying to get my life back to normal, but with those many distractions layering above me, it will take time. But I now know who I truly am. And ironically, i don’t know I should thank COVID lockdown or not. Because it seemed like a pretty confusion and messed up moment.

Hey guys! I hope you liked reading this article. This is a very new concept of writing to me. My very confusing life experience. Tell me if I should write more of these! Also tell me if any of you could actually relate to this!


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